1. Gwyneth Paltrow digs me. This was the view from my hotel room yesterday, look at the bottom right hand corner...
...this is the view today. She is totally checking me out.
2. The centre piece of Shanghai is this death ray tower thing which was constructed by Dr Evil last time he was here.
3. Mao preempted blue steel by three decades.
4. The official 2010 Expo mascot is a blue cough drop on amphetamines.
5. A suit made from salmon is suitable for all occasions.
6. ZZ Top tours were an inspiration for early Chinese masks.
7. In the 9th Century, China was invaded by gnomes on camels.
8. Jeff Kennett is a creature of the undead who has lived since the 7th Century as he is immortalised in this sculpture.
9. Seriously, dude looks totally like Jeff Kennett.
10. Coke is life.
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