Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Movie Reviews with Jon - Iron Man


I tend to believe that any movie can instantly be made better if it has either a) a car chase or b) battling robots. Think how great Citizen Kane could have been if it had robots fighting it in it. It’s the only thing that really that undermines the brilliance of that film. So I was really looking forward to finally watching Iron Man because not only does it feature Robert Downey Junior (a great actor) but battling robots which means this film is going to R.O.C.K.

So the story is that Downey Junior is a genius weapons manufacturer who only does good work because his products of death are only used to protect Americans. He has an epiphany when he is kidnapped by a terrorist group and discovers that his weapons are being used by the militants he’s supposed to be keeping us (as in U.S.) safe from. I think he says something like “ohmigod, you guys, I cannot believe you are, like totally, misusing my high grade killing weapons and using them to kill honest Americans...” I thought they said he was a genius.

Anyhow, by this point, I could barely keep my groans in as said weapons genius turns himself into a weapon, a one man fighting machine (Iron Man!) and goes into Afghanistan to sort out the terrorist scum harassing goat herders. Yeah, take that towel head! Forget the Geneva convention or the UN, let’s become the cowboys of the world and kick some ass.

And that is my review:

Iron Man = George W. Bush and no amount of battling robots could save this apologist piece of shit from being the reactionary, right wing propaganda it is.

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